Stalking David Mamet at the Rainbow Sweets

In his essay The Diner (contained in the collection Make Believe Town) David Mamet implies that the Rainbow Sweets on Route Two in Marshfield, Vermont is a great place to write.

I bought Make Believe Town in Alberta when it came out in 1996. It traveled across the country with me in 1999 after I secured a reporting job at The Sherbooke Record. It was a job I would not hold for long, but that is a different story altogether.

The Sherbrooke Record's office was actually located in the nearby town of Lennoxville, which is also home to Bishop's University. While working for The Record, I reviewed two plays at BU: Neil Simon's The Odd Couple and William Inge's Picnic. To this day, the latter remains the finest production put on by a post-secondary institution I have ever seen.

I lived in a boarding house with three BU students who were younger and rowdier than me. They often threw wild parties in the living room and I, the resident old man (at age 26) would confine myself to my room where I would read or write.

And one of the things I read was The Diner. After reading it, I said to myself: "Hey, Vermont isn't that far away. Why not drive down there one weekend and visit the Rainbow Sweets? Maybe David Mamet will be there."

Being the romantic that I was (and still am, I suppose) I took my advice. And that's how one rainy November afternoon in 1999, I found myself behind the wheel of my 1985 Pontiac T-1000, driving south into a strange kingdom, which was Vermont.

And Vermont was just like Canada. It had trees and roads and people in cars and gas stations and restaurants. Yes, Vermont, to my eyes, was just like Canada. The only difference was that if I got in a car accident and had to go to the hospital, I'd have to pay for it myself.

But I didn't get into a car accident. I went to a gas station and I bought a map of Vermont and I found Marshfield on it and then I started to drive. And it rained the entire trip and I started to think it would be better to turn back because David Mamet probably wouldn't go out to write on a cold and rainy night like this. But I didn't turn back. I kept driving because I knew that there was only one thing that would terrify me more than not meeting David Mamet at the Rainbow Sweets and that was meeting him at the Rainbow Sweets.

And then I was on Route 2 and the Rainbow Sweets suddenly appeared on the right. I think the sign had a neon rainbow on it but I can`t be sure. I parked. I grabbed my notebook and my pen and my copies of Make-Believe Town and Glengarry Glen Ross and prepared myself to meet David Mamet.

But David Mamet was not there.

And what do I remember of the Rainbow Sweets? I remember a display case that was filled with cakes and pie wedges and assorted pastries. I remember a few tables. I think one of the tables was occupied but I can't be sure. I do remember that none of the tables were occupied by David Mamet.

There were framed photographs on the wall. Beside the photographs was some text. The text was signed by David Mamet. It became obvious to me that the photographs had been taken by David Mamet and given to the Rainbow Sweets proprietor as a gift. I touched the photographs, which showed people inside the Rainbow Sweets. I touched them because David Mamet had once touched those photos too - nay, he had sired them.

I asked the proprietor if he knew David Mamet and he shrugged and said he popped in from time to time. Of course I wanted him to say that David Mamet lived right up the lane and he would surely be here in 10 minutes. But he did not say this. He looked pointedly at me and I ordered a piece of chocolate cake and I paid more than five dollars for it and I took my cake to a table and I took out my notebook and I tried to write.

But I couldn't write. The magic of the Rainbow Sweets might have inspired David Mamet, but it did not inspire Shteevie. So I ate my cake and I daydreamed. I dreamed that David Mamet was there and we were having a conversation and that I told David Mamet that I had written a play and it was dedicated to him and in my daydream, he said: "Wow, I'm deeply touched."

I hope he would say that. But I believe he would be entirely justified in rolling his eyes and saying: "Another one?"